The Snakes
by FaerieFlit
Summary: The G-wing boys wake up one morning to find their lil' safehouse crawling with snakes... no big deal, right- unless one of them is missing, another has a secret little fear, and a third is almost squeezed to death! (Yaoi implications)


"Mmmmm... *Yawn* Good morning, Trowa!" Quatre looked cheerfully over at the young man in the bed beside his.  
  
A slit of emerald sleepily observed him. "Morning."  
  
Quatre beamed at the response from his partner when normally, one of the other boys would have cursed at him to go back to sleep.   
  
He pulled on his shirt and glanced at the clock. Five a.m. Time to make breakfast. Normally, before he met and began sharing a safehouse with the others and *Heero* he would wait till six. But Heero got up ao damn *early*.  
  
He set his foot down on the cold, hard floor, and yawned again, raking a hand through his bangs. Trowa had drifted off to sleep again.  
  
When Quatre entered the kitchen and flipped on the lights, he found Heero sitting at the table, typing on his laptop. He looked at Quatre expectantly. Quatre sighed and walked to the fridge, taking out a bottle of butter and seven eggs, batter, and sausage.  
  
Suddenly, he felt a cold, scaled body slide over his left foot.  
  
"Aaack!" Quatre practily jumped up in a perfect verticle line, dropping all of the foodstuffs, and hyperventilating.  
  
Heero looked sharply up, just in time to see a small black garter snack slide beneath the table. He watched it dissapear, then pushed backward, sliding his chair out from underneath the table. He calmly rose, and walked over the the cabinets, where Quatre had taken the flour and syrup from.   
  
Inside, three gigantic snakes were nestled in admist all of the pilot's dry food, warming a basketful of eggs and at least thirty tiny snakes.  
  
Heero watched as most of all the tiny snakes and two of the big ones slithered out, then closed the door sharply as the last fat one, obviously the mother of the eggs, rose her head and flicked her toungue in his general direction.  
  
"Oh... my... god..." Quatre panted, looking in horror as a hundred or so snakes wormed their way from various cabinets into his kitchen, and scattered throughout the safehouse.  
  
"Damn."  
  
Quatre turned sharply, sucking in his breath, and watched Heero.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Now breakfast is ruined."  
  
Quatre facevaulted, and was out cold before he hit the floor.  
  
  
  
  
"...Man..." Duo scratched his bottom as he rose from the bed. "Ouch!" He winced. "Damnation, sore again. Well, nothing a shower won't fix!" He ended semi-cheerfully.  
  
"MAXWELL!!!" Wufei came hurtling into the room Duo and Heero shared.  
  
"Maxwell, I'm sick and tired of the distgusting jokes you have been playing on me!" He looked around to make sure no one was listening. "I don't care if I have to pay you for the rest of my life to not tell, but quit with the goddamned snakes!"  
  
"Huh?" Duo looked sleepily at the enraged Chinese pilot. "Ohh, you mean your fear of snakes? Well, I'll tell you this, Wu-man, I didn't put nothin' in your bed last night!"  
  
Wufei was about to say something when Quatre burst into the room, crying.  
  
"Where's Trowa?!" Quatre's face was streaming with tears.   
  
"Whoa, what's wrong, Quatre?" Duo asked, worried now.  
  
"The whole house is crawling with... SNAKES!"  
  
Wufei's face blanched.  
  
Duo, on the other hand, burst out laughing.  
  
Heero walked into the room, and Duo stopped laughing abruptly. "Trowa is in the garden."  
  
Wufei looked ready to either have a heart attack, or scrape himself to pieces by leaping out the window.  
  
"Heero, is our house really crawling with snakes?" Duo yelled over Quatre's bawling as he ran to the door that led out into the garden.  
  
"Affirmative." Duo cringed.  
  
"Uugh, that's sick!" He sighed. "I guess I can't take a shower, now."  
  
  
  
  
"Trowa? Trowa?! TROWAAAAAA!" Quatre ran through the garden, screaming every time he saw a snake, and looking frantically around for Trowa.  
  
"Ohh, Trowa! They got you, poor Trowa!"   
  
  
  
  
"What the hell are we gonna do now?" Duo demanded of Heero, as he sat propping Wufei up and fanning his white face.  
  
"I don't know." Heero's typing pace quickened as he typed angrily away, and jammed a key.  
  
"Goddamnit!" He exploded when the key jammed.   
  
"Ditto. I needed to wash my hair *so* bad! And a hot shower would've been *really* nice after what you did last night."  
  
Heero sent Duo a searing look, but the braided teenager rambled on. "You may have a ton of energy to screw, Yuy, but I don't."  
  
Heero growled menacingly.   
  
Quatre burst into the room. "They got Trowa!" He sobbed.   
  
"WHAT?!" Duo and Heero said at the same time.  
  
"Huh... wha- what happened?" Wufei asked, sitting up dizzily, hand to his head.  
  
"The house is swarming with hundreds of snakes and theres even more in the garden and they've got Trowa and I can't find him anywhere and I'm really scared and I think were all gonna die because nobody can climb the electrical fence and the only person who can jump over it is Trowa and the power box is inhabited by two Kingsnakes and THEY GOT MY TROWA!!!" Quatre started hyperventilating again, and Wufei's eyes rolled up before he passed out once more.  
  
Duo shoke his head, and looked at Heero. "can't you just call a rescue team via laptop?" He questioned.  
  
Heero shoke his head. "No phone lines here."   
  
"WHAT?!" This time it was Quatre and Duo who yelled in unison.  
  
"We had one though, 'member? In the basement?" Duo offered hopefully.  
  
"I disconected it permanetly when this became our safehouse." Heero answered.   
  
"Aww, shit! This *really* bites!"  
  
"My Trowa!" *sob sob*  
  
"...Hn..."  
  
A fat green constrictor slithered up next to Duo, without him noticing.   
  
"Huh- Aaaack!"  
  
"Don't move, Duo!" Quatre yelled, sighting the Boa.   
  
The big snake observed Duo, then decided he was hungry and began to wrap itself about it's prostrate victim.  
  
"Nononononononono....." Duo moaned, tears smarting from his eyes.  
  
"Oh, Duo, your gonna die like Trowa!" Quatre sobbed in a fresh burst of tears.  
  
Duo's face began to turn a nasty green, about the same color as the fainted Wufei's.  
  
The snake squeezed, and Duo had a fleeting feeling of sorrow that he was leaving Heero, but that was snatched from his mind as the remnants of his stomache forced their way up.  
  
Heero observed his partner stoicly, then reached into his pocket and withdrew a knife. Walking forward, he plunged it into the serpent's neck, seconds before it coiled around to bite him.  
  
Suddenly, the grip on Duo loosened, and the Boa, blood gurgling out of it's throat, fell limp.  
  
Heero allowed his face to sport a momentarily bemused smile as Duo stood shakily and walked on newborn legs over to the bed, where he collapsed, not noticing the black snake that escaped from the pillow case.  
  
  
  
  
Six hours and twelve snake corpses later, Heero, with Duo over his shoulder, followed by Quatre, dragging Wufei, cautiously creeped through the doorway.   
  
Snakes were lounging around, and watched the humans with curiosity as they tiptoed to the door to the garden.  
  
Over the last six, tense hours, Quatre and Heero had formed a plan. They would sneak through the house and garden, deposit any fainted persons in the car, search for Trowa, then try and get past all the security using the only weapons that the safehouse had. Two guns, one contact bomb, and three radiation ciclets.(1)  
  
They found the car at the far end of the garden, and already had used one magazine in the first gun on a twenty-foot Python. They slid Duo and Wufei in the car.  
  
Duo's condition was understandable; he had almost had his guts squeezed out by the constrictor. But Wufei; neither Quatre nor Heero had any idea why he passed out twice. Well, not exactly true. Heero had an idea, but one that he didn't want to link to the proud, honorable Chinese.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Trowa! Trowa! Please, answer me, Trowa!" Quatre wandered through the garden, holding his radiation ciclet shakily. There was a rustle to his right, and he spun quickly on his heel. Partially sitting, and half wrapped around a nearby oak, an enormous Python gazed at Quatre. It's toungue flickered, and it started towards Quatre.   
  
"Eeeck! Uuugh... don't throw up don't throw up don't throw up..." Quatre cried under his breath. He raised his arm, used his thumb to push the small button on the cylinder, which forced a needle to emerge from one end, took a deep breath, and...  
  
Threw it at the huge snake, suprisingly like a dart. The huge snake hissed, then screamed a high-pitched warning cry at the top of it's voice as the radiation chemicals began pouring into its body via the ciclet/dart. It collapsed, and Quatre heaved a sigh of relief. The tree rustled again, and Quatre yelped as the sudden noise caused his nerves, charged with adrenaline, forced him to jump back in fright.  
  
But this time it was a tall, slim figure that slowly slid down the trunk. Trowa approached Quatre, and took him in his arms, wearily.  
  
"Thank you..."   
  
"Oh, Trowa! I'm so glad your alive!"  
  
"Thank you *so* much for saving me..."  
  
"...Hn..."  
  
Quatre spun on his heel, into the hard gaze of Heero Yuy.   
  
"H- Heero?"  
  
"I came when I heard the snake. Lets get to the car. Now."  
  
The other pilots willingly followed him.  
  
  
  
At the first security check, the small building they had to drive though was crawling with snakes. Heero tentivly typed the first code into the security pad, trying to ignore the tiny Coral snake that watched him from atop it.  
  
When they entered the next security station, the code pad had many different snakes draped over it. Thankfully, Trowa was strong enough to stand atop the car and leap upward to the raised platform, and operate the lead door from there.  
  
The next stop had to be hotwired because of the wires that the snakes had bitten through. Heero and Quatre acomplished this quickly, working together, with Trowa watching out for them.  
  
Finally, they made it out of the last security station without any mishap.   
  
"Ohh... I'm so glad we're all safe." Quatre murmured, looking from Trowa to Heero.   
  
"Wait a minute..." Trowa said, looking around. "Heero, where's your laptop?"  
  
This time, it was Heero's turn to blanch.   
  
-Owari-  
  
  
(1): A Radiation Ciclet is a weapon I invented one day for my own dark fic reasons...*smirk*...its a small cylinder that is filled with extremely deadly radiation chemicals, and whena small button is pushed, a needle pops out of one end. The thing is thrown like a dart, and when the needle comes into contact with flesh, it releases the radiation.  
  
  
(Standard disclaimers apply) 


End file.
